I am so grateful when things just connect! For the month of March Total Woman Tuesdays (TWT) has been dedicated to MARCHing forward. As women, heck as people we know that picking up the pieces to a life that was shattered by, well, life, is not always easy, but it is ALWAYS necessary.
TWT has lined up interviews with 3 phenomanal women who chose to accept their past, embrace their present and blaze a trail into their future! Heads up, shoulders back, and the sun kissing their face! Read on as we introduce our first woman of March… Nicol (pronounced NY-cole)
Prior to talking with Nicol, I sent her some interview questions for her to review and answer, and when I got the email back.. I was floored. You see Nicol is my cousin, her mom & my dad are siblings, So I know Nicol.. but on the day of our phone interview, I was introduced to Nicol, the woman.
A fierce personality and a dertermination to give life all she had, Nicol embodies LIFE. She opened up to me about the importance of being a woman of her word, the joy she found when she started taking trips by herself and the heartache that she feels some days as she raises 3 children on her own following the untimely death of her husband Mike. There were so many gems that she dropped on me that I could really write a book…BUT I will let her do that; after all, it’s in the works! I pray that tge snipet of Nicol’s life that she shared with us empowers you to push forward, because honey YOU’RE WORTH IT!
The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was tell my children that their father was gone. No, he wasn’t gone in the sense of “gone by choice” or “gone and he will be back” but gone, gone… like gone forever, MURDERED!!.. He was gone and they would never see him again, laugh with him or hug him. I remember the day like it was 2 hours ago, not yesterday but literally 2 hours ago. Engraved in my memory like me looking in the mirror right now and seeing my two eyes my nose and my mouth, the memory will never fade. The second hardest thing was realizing that MY soul mate was gone. Good, bad or indifferent he was mine for half my life, 19years…… and I no longer had my partner!!!
This hands down is the pivotal moment in my life that “transformed me”, I should have thrown in the towel then, but I couldn’t……
The excerpt above has been in my head for some time now; I’ve been playing with the words, trying to formulate this just right to be the opening page of my memoir. “I HAVE A STORY TO TELL”…… so in reading over your questions, it was difficult to just “answer them”… I hope in some way you are able to extrapolate what you need and hey if needed, use my words exactly as I’ve written them. My life is and has always been an open book. I’ve always used honesty as a defense mechanism, it was my way of defending my true feelings to the world, the world that feels or felt they knew me better than I knew myself.
My mom, the “ultimate staple” in my life, groomed me. By watching her for the last 39 years I can now say that, the woman I am, my strength, my ability to continue, to go on when anyone else would have laid down and given up comes from her. I’ve watched her struggle and with grace she maintained the house. I’ve watched her heartache from personal relationships and with grace she smiled. I’ve watched her make ends meet when she could barely find the ends. I’ve watched people talk about her (they still do till this day), I’ve watched people laugh behind her back, lie on her and with grace she still walks her head held high and just continues to be the loving, soft spoken, “baby I love you” “it’s going to be ok” GOD FEARING woman she is today. I love her dearly she is my best friend, the ultimate staple I cannot live without.
My greatest accomplishment, what drives me to push forward and what inspires me to be my best?
My children.. cliché I know, however, they are. My daughter Mieyshayla, 19, college student, working girl, my twins Mieykeya and Michael, 13. The three reasons I work as hard as I do, the reason I am so independent.. the reason I speak my mind, am direct, the reason I am spoiled (because I spoil them) . Why, because they are watching me. I have to be a great example for them the same way my mom was and is for me. I am raising women, one who has been with me for half my life. In some ways she is me and I am her. Strange right? Nope not strange, that girl will be me in 20 years, a woman who has lived, who has felt heartache, who may have children of her own, how she deals with her life, the good, the bad, the ugly, the ups, the down… that depends on what she sees from me, the lessons I teach..
I am raising a man, I am the first woman hopefully he will be in love with (lol), I have to set an example for the type of woman he needs as his WIFE.
We are all a product of our environment and our past experiences dictate our future experiences. What we’ve seen and heard, what we’ve lived through have an impact on the things we allow, the things we want, and how we want our future to be! Period.
The best thing about being a woman?
I didn’t truly realize it until I started to live, to care more about me than anyone else, and to be SELFISH.
The best thing about being a woman and I wish all women realized this about themselves is that we are able to be selfish, take care of the kids, the house, our man, run our businesses and still be a great success, all while being SELFISH. Now I mean selfish in the way of loving ourselves just as much as we love everybody else. I mean spend a paycheck on a bag, on some shoes, get your hair done, take trips (many), go out, chill with the girls, go in your room close the door tell the family I am off limits and VEG.. be selfish. Now remember the bills gotta be paid (before you take that check and buy those shoes or that bag, lol but seriously), the house gotta be clean (before you go in the room and VEG), your man gotta be taken care of (before you go out with the girls), and travel with your family (before you travel by yourself).. now if you have fulfilled all of your obligations and your priorities are in order… GIRL BE SELFISH…
I want people to know that I LOVE HARD and am LOYAL sometimes to a fault, I am LOVING LIFE but for so long I didn’t.
Oh and I’m single!!
The First The Last and the Only MRS. Nicol McClendon (Michael’s wife YUP!!!!)