Inhale….Exhale…. woooosshhhh

It’s so funny how every time I’m invited to a function that requires me to get dressed up, I have these mental ‘freak out’ moments.

At first, I’m excited, woo hoo, partaeee! But then the day of, I’m a basket case! Everything about me, in my mind, is wrong! My weight, my hair, my clothes, you name it, it’s WRONG! Oh no no, I’m not even dressed yet for the function! But everything is wrong!

I’ve struggled for years with low self-esteem, I think it goes back to things in my childhood that sparked that lie, but nonetheless, I’ve allowed it to travel with me into adult-hood. An entity occupying space in the apartment that is my mind and in the house that is my heart, rent free and costing me more and more by the day!
So many times I tried to shake it, a new shirt here, a glass of wine there, some new boots there…suppression to a constant issue, nothing more.

So as I’m sitting here today, waiting to get my eyebrows waxed for an event I have to attend in about an hour, my mind is saying ‘don’t go, you will look so out-of-place, fat, out dated and foolish!’. But my spirit is saying ‘your fearfully and wonderfully made, you are beautiful and chosen, GO!’

———W.A.R!!!!———-

I wish I could end this by saying, I’m jumping up saying YES, YES, I’M BEAUTIFUL, but the truth is, I’m silently, trying to convince myself of that very fact.

Beautiful because my heart is being cleansed and filled with more of God daily. Beautiful because I am coming into my purpose filled life. Beautiful for so many reasons, and no reason at all. But beautiful most of all because Christ calls me beautiful!

So silently…I’m cheering myself on…calling myself beautiful starting with my feet and working m way up.

Process……

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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7 thoughts on “Inhale….Exhale…. woooosshhhh

  1. Amen to that! When my husband tells me how beautiful I am, I think to myself “yeah, right!” but I know that he means it. Though we don’t sometimes see our own beauty, others do. Great post 🙂 Blessings, Terri

    • I think the same thing Terri, just learning to stop believing the lies, and accept truth! YOU are beautiful and so am I! Guess it’s just a fact that we will have to live with from here on out. Tough job but someones gotta do it! LOL!!! ~Tikisha

  2. I stumbled across this posting for a reason. I was touched by how heartfelt your words were and it lead me to commment. I know you know all of the things that I’m gonna say like you are beautiful no matter what you look, beauty is in the eye of the Beholder, etc…but really what I want to say is be confident put on your fly dress/outfit, strut in that room and let people know that you have arrived! Confidence is beautiful. When you display it people believe it. Be confident in the fact that you’re beautiful and all else will fall into place : )

    • Honestly, if my mom was the blogging kind of girl, I would be convinced that these were her words! Can I tell you that when I got your comment my heart danced! (as soon as you posted it, I got an alert and read it)
      I was so overjoyed that God would send you to share those words with me. I will also share that I got dressed, skeptical of being at least OK with what I looked like, to seeing my husbands face light up, to standing in the mirror, CONFIDENTLY BEAUTIFUL! I can’t thank you enough for what your words meant to me and for that, I pray God’s most BEAUTIFUL blessing over your life!!! ~ Tikisha

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